Becoming a parent is scary as heck! You read books and blogs, get solicited and unsolicited advice from friends, family and strangers; get the car seat, plug in covers, and all the other safety equipment ready; decorate the room and buy the clothes, but nothing can really prepare you for the words “your child has autism”…
First, breath… I know this can feel like you have been knocked over or cannot catch your breath, so I am here to tell you to take a deep breath, doing some breathing exercises, and know you got this!
Second, talk about it. Once you catch your breath talk about this new information. Talk with you partner/spouse, with your family, with a friend, or even a professional. If your child is old enough talk to them or their siblings. Here are some conversation starters: do you know what autism is, what is autism, how does this change my life, what are we going to do now…
Third, ask for help. You do not have to face any of this on your own. Others have come before you and some are walking beside you. Ask them for help, ask your doctor for help, ask you partner for help, or ask your family for help. Here are some things that other people can help you out with: cooking meals, child care, transportation, laundry, finding services…
Fourth, find providers. ABA, SLP, OT, PT soo many acronyms! Make a list of providers in your area and a list of questions for each provider. Remember when you are speaking with providers it is an interview for them to work with your child. There is no such thing as too many questions when it come to choosing a provider for your child. And here is a helpful hint.. if they are irritated by the number of questions you have you most likely do not want to have them working with you child. Here are some questions you can ask: how many people on my child’s team, how many hours a week, what are some goals you will work on, can I be present during sessions, do you collaborate with other providers.
Fifth, one step at a time. This seems like a lot and you are not wrong, it is a lot, but I am here to tell you to take it one step at a time. Make a to-do list and then prioritize the items on that list, and stick to it! You may continuously be playing the hurry up and wait game, but persistence is key. Remember, you are your child’s best advocate and you got this, but you also have permission to break down.
